Back
Last updated August 2020

Privacy Statement

PR
001
Hmm, what kind of document is this?

Well mate, it seems you've stumbled across Segern’s privacy policy.

Really? Wait, how did I get on this ship?

Hold on. Hold on. There, look around, we’re still on the Island.

Phew, okay I was getting worried you were a pirate or something. So, why is Segern interested in privacy?

Well, because we take your privacy seriously. We mean seriously here on the Island.

Why so serious?

Sorry,  just passionate about privacy. Oh and for full transparency, We are also legally required to have a privacy policy.

No, of course, that’s good. So now what?

Well, we’d like you to please read it in full. See we really want you to know what we're doing about your privacy. Also, because a lawyer was paid a lot for this, and getting it’s money’s worth would be awesome.

Hmm, okay makes sense… can I read it out loud?

Sure, you can even scream it from a balcony if you’d like. If you do, however (try with the animated voice of Kevin Hart) that’s entirely up to you. You can also read it in the dark with a sock puppet. We don’t judge.

That second idea sounds fun! So does this privacy policy ever change?

Well, change is the only constant in life so, yeah. Just take a look in the mirror, We're sure you've seen some good changes over the years right?

Okie dokie, so how will I know if you change this privacy policy?

For the little things like punctuation or fixing misspellings you probably won’t know. However, If something important, like plotting to rule the world like evil villains or even worse singing karaoke, We’ll put a notice on our website(s), telling you all about it. This way we can reassess our relationship and the changes made to it.

Hmm, so what if I’m just not into the changes?

Oh, we're sure you will be.

Umm, but if I not?

Then if you just aren’t that into us anymore we’ll have to part ways. It’ll be tough but we're sure you’ll get past it.

So if I like what has changed, I should let you know, right? Like a compliment.

No no, we love getting compliments, but we're sure your time is better spent elsewhere (Walking the dog, trimming the bonsai, dancing in the rain maybe?). Now if you keep using our website(s) after the notice is published, that means you’re fine with the changes and well everything is consensual. No need to make the hotline bling.

Hotline Bling? What is this a Drake concert now?

Apologies.

It’s cool, I actually like that song. But, now what?

Here below, We (“Segern”) will explain to you (“you”) how We (“Segern”) treat the personal information (“Personal Information”) We collect from visitors (“Visitors”).

What is “Personal Information”? Who is a “Visitor”? What’s with the quotation marks? And why do you suddenly sound like a lawyer?

Glad you asked. A “Visitor” is someone who visits our website(s), like you. “Personal Information” is information about you that is personally identifiable, such as your name, address, email address, or phone number, and information that is not otherwise publicly available.

I hear violins. Do you hear that?

What? Let’s keep going.

PR
002

How what’s collected is used and protected.

Confession, this is fun. Why didn’t I come here to read this privacy policy sooner?

Maybe because you like to make an entrance, superstar.

You’re some smooth operators. So you were telling me what you do with the information you collect?

In general, personal information that is collected is used for four things:

  • to improve our service(s),
  • to respond to inquiries,
  • to send newsletters to people who want them (hint, hint, wink, wink), and
  • to customize user’s experience of our website(s).

Okay sounds harmless enough, so what exactly don’t you do with the Personal Information you collect?

You must be a scholar, that’s a great question! We don’t rent, sell, or share the personal information collected with other people or non-affiliated companies, except:

  • If you provide us with payment information for something you buy from us, in which case we submit your payment information to a third party payment processor (required by credit card issuers to meet specific security requirements) which collects, stores, and processes your credit card and other payment information on our behalf using industry-standard security measures.
  • If disclosure is reasonably necessary to investigate or prevent, illegal action,
  • If disclosure is necessary to respond to subpoenas, court orders, to establish or exercise our legal rights or defend against legal claims, or to enforce my Terms of Service (if any),
  • If you specifically request we share the Personal Information you have provided, or
  • If we merge or are acquired by another company.

When reasonable, we will make reasonable efforts to notify you of such disclosure before it happens.

Wow, I didn’t know you knew Harvey Specter! That just got super lawyery, is Dona here too?

Dona is out right now putting out fires.

My grandmother always said I’d make a good firefighter.

She sounds like a wise woman, your definitely the responsible type for reading all of this.

Um, yeah I am, aren’t I… wow thanks.

You’re welcome, just don’t get “Litt up” on the job.

Haha, good one. So you’ve got all this information right? How do you protect it?

We protect your information by requiring employees (if any) who have access to the personal information to treat it as confidential. They will never share it with anyone or use it for any unauthorized purpose.

Oh, hey curious question.

Sure, what is it?

What if I'm not in the United States?

We're not always on this Island, so have fun wherever you’re located, mate.

Wait, what? I mean does it make a difference?

Ah, we see what you mean. Our servers are in the United States, so if you're visiting Segern website(s) from outside of the United States, you're sending Personal Information to the United States, with all that entails. That information, including Personal Information, may be transmitted within the United States or to other countries outside your country of residence. These countries may not have privacy and data protection laws as comprehensive as those in your country of residence. Your Personal Information, however, will at all times remain governed by this Privacy Policy.

PR
003

What information gets collected and when.

Wait before I forget, what information do you collect about me?

Well, everything down to that birthmark of yours.

What? How did you know about that?

Ha, it’s a joke, almost everyone has one.

Phew.

Basically, we know and store two types of things: First, there’s the stuff you send using the forms on our website(s) (your name, your email address, and whatever else you choose).

Then there’s payment information that you send if you buy something from us (which, by the way, we really think you should, because we’ve got quality stuff). That would be things like your billing address, your shipping address, and your payment information, including credit card number, security code, and expiration date. Now, just because we collect your payment information doesn't mean we store it, because, frankly, we’ve got other things to do. We simply submit it to a third-party payment processor, who are required by credit card issuers to meet specific security requirements. They in turn store and processes your payment information on our behalf using industry-standard security measures.

And lastly there are the things your computer and browser tell us (your IP address, software and hardware attributes, the pages you request, and information from our cookie).


A cookie? Is there milk too, that’s the best.

No, no not that kind of cookie. A cookie is a small piece of data sent from a website and stored on the user's computer by the user's web browser while the user is browsing, to identify that browser during interaction on websites. Cookies may be used to store things like identifiers and user preferences. A website may set a cookie to the browser if the browser's preferences allow it. If you don’t want us to use cookies you may change your browser settings to prevent receiving them.

Hey hey, what happened?

That darn Harvey again. You know that’s just how lawyers talk.

Ah, that makes sense. So, what do you use cookies for?

We may use cookies to keep track of whatever preferences you’ve told us about. We may also use them to deliver ads to you. Plus we like to dip them in milk, sometimes.

Digging the honesty here, this is the healthiest relationship ever. Is there anything else I should know about?

Yes, we use “Microsoft 365”, "Webflow", "Stripe", "Paypal", "Mailchimp", “Re:plain”, “Aidaform", and "Harmonizely" to help us schedule events, answer user questions, send newsletters, understand what people are doing on our website(s), and collect payments and payment information. Microsoft 365's privacy policy can be found at Microsoft Privacy Statement. Webflow's privacy policy can be found at Webflow Global Privacy Policy. The Stripe privacy policy can be found at Stripe Global Privacy Policy.  Paypal’s privacy policy can be found at Paypal Privacy Statement. Fullstory’s privacy policy can be found at Fullstory Privacy Policy. MailChimp’s privacy policy can be found at MailChimp Security.  The Re:plain privacy policy can be found at Re:plain Privacy Policy. Aidaform's privacy policy can be found at Aidaform Privacy Policy and Data Processing Agreement. The Harmonizely privacy policy can be found at Harmonizely Privacy Policy. Abracadabra, hocus-pocus — the linked privacy policies are hereby made a part of this privacy policy.

I love magic tricks, awesome.

You’re welcome.

PR
004

Your rights regarding personal information.

Now that everything's on the table, what are my rights here?

Well, you have the right to see the personal information you’ve provided, and to request it’s deletion from our database within a reasonable time.

I live in California. Does that make me special?

Why yes, of course. According to California law, residents may request a list of what Personal Information, if any, we have disclosed to third parties for direct marketing purposes in the preceding calendar year, and the names and addresses of those third parties. If you do, we will provide you with that list. Requests may be made only once a year.

Are Segern website(s) safe for kids?

Generally, yes. But in case you were asking because of the Children’s Online Privacy Protection Act (COPPA), We want you to know that our websites are not intended for children under the age of 13, and we do not collect, use or disclose personal information from children.

I was indeed asking because of that.

We thought so. Anything else?

So, since we're really doing this thing you know. Can I stop by if I have any questions or concerns about this privacy policy?

Why sure, if you want to talk about this privacy policy, please email us at ello@segern.com. Just put Privacy in the subject line and that should work.

The End