Hmm, what kind of document is this?
Really? Wait, how did I get on this ship?
Hold on. Hold on. There, look around, we’re still on the Island.
Phew, okay I was getting worried you were a pirate or something. So, why is Segern interested in privacy?
Well, because we take your privacy seriously. We mean seriously here on the Island.
Why so serious?
No, of course, that’s good. So now what?
Well, we’d like you to please read it in full. See we really want you to know what we're doing about your privacy. Also, because a lawyer was paid a lot for this, and getting it’s money’s worth would be awesome.
Hmm, okay makes sense… can I read it out loud?
Sure, you can even scream it from a balcony if you’d like. If you do, however (try with the animated voice of Kevin Hart) that’s entirely up to you. You can also read it in the dark with a sock puppet. We don’t judge.
Well, change is the only constant in life so, yeah. Just take a look in the mirror, We're sure you've seen some good changes over the years right?
For the little things like punctuation or fixing misspellings you probably won’t know. However, If something important, like plotting to rule the world like evil villains or even worse singing karaoke, We’ll put a notice on our website(s), telling you all about it. This way we can reassess our relationship and the changes made to it.
Hmm, so what if I’m just not into the changes?
Oh, we're sure you will be.
Umm, but if I not?
Then if you just aren’t that into us anymore we’ll have to part ways. It’ll be tough but we're sure you’ll get past it.
So if I like what has changed, I should let you know, right? Like a compliment.
No no, we love getting compliments, but we're sure your time is better spent elsewhere (Walking the dog, trimming the bonsai, dancing in the rain maybe?). Now if you keep using our website(s) after the notice is published, that means you’re fine with the changes and well everything is consensual. No need to make the hotline bling.
Hotline Bling? What is this a Drake concert now?
It’s cool, I actually like that song. But, now what?
Here below, We (“Segern, LLC”) will explain to you (“you”) how We (“Segern, LLC”) treat the personal information (“Personal Information”) We collect from visitors (“Visitors”).
What is “Personal Information”? Who is a “Visitor”? What’s with the quotation marks? And why do you suddenly sound like a lawyer?
Glad you asked. A “Visitor” is someone who visits our website(s), like you. “Personal Information” is information about you that is personally identifiable, such as your name, address, email address, or phone number, and information that is not otherwise publicly available.
I hear violins. Do you hear that?
What? Let’s keep going.